If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
