I hate your face
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
