a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
