Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
