Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
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