we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
