I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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