How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
