If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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