Already got asked if we're dating
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
