porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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