I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
