The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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