apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
