She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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