Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
