Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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