you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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