Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
