This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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