I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
