that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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