I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
