For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
