Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
the raccoons are back...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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