I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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