every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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