i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
