Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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