And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
