Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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