Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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