I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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