Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
