You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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