i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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