So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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