dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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