You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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