I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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