i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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