I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
