I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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