is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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