He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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