So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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