if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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