No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
