so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
