is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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