So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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