your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
