I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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